If you’re not black, don’t say the n-word

I am a non-black, 23 year old male. When I was 14 years old, I heard a non-black friend say the n-word. Up until that point, I had only heard it in music and learned about it briefly in a history class. Gradually, I, along with other friends, began using the n-word as well. It became a term of frequent and casual use, like “what’s up n-word” and “yo n-word.” None of us had the common sense to do any research on the history and racial significance of the word, and instead, we used the word without feeling any guilt. It was only when I turned 17 that I learned not to say it, and not even of my own accord. A friend who had taken the time to research the significance of the n-word sat me down, and explained to me why my actions were unacceptable.

“In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist, we must be anti-racist.” — Angela Davis

Now, 9 years later, I am going back to those memories of myself as a 14 year old and am reflecting on my actions. While it’s good that I have stopped my usage of the n-word, that is not enough. Stopping my usage of the n-word is non-racist. Advocating against usage of the n-word, educating others about the history of the n-word, that is my definition of anti-racist in this context. With the BLM movement and prominence of social media these days, I think it’s common sense for people to not use the n-word out of fear of being cancelled. But to avoid usage of the n-word out of fear of being cancelled isn’t right. People should avoid usage of the n-word because they genuinely understand why it’s wrong.

In the past couple years, when I’ve confronted friends about their usage of the n-word (post 17 year old me), a common argument I’ve heard back is, “I’m not saying it around black people. Why does it matter?” I’ve only ever had a general response of consisting of the following points:

• The n-word was used by slaveowners as a term of power over slaves
• Only black people endured the harm of slavery
• It’s had a long history of racial usage to talk down to black people

But, that never worked out that well since the common response was, “That was so many years ago in the past, it’s not relevant anymore.” I thought it would be helpful to have some more detailed reasons about the n-word, that will ideally stop people from bringing up the fact that it was “so many years in the past.”

• “It’s really tied into the idea that African people aren’t really human beings.” — Kehinde Andrews [https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-53749800] By using the n-word, slaveowners would strip the slaves of their identities, treating them like an animal that could just be bought and sold.
• “The n-word symboled antipathy towards fellow black folk.” [https://theundefeated.com/features/if-you-truly-knew-what-the-n-word-meant-to-our-ancestors-youd-never-use-it/] The word was used to create a division between black people, isolating black people even further.
• By taking back ownership of the n-word, black people claim power over the word that had repressed them in the past. It is a sign of their freedom and independence, and a symbol of their strength to overcome slavery.

The argument I hate the most is, “If black people can say it, why can’t I?” Well, you can go out on the street every day without fear of being killed by a police officer. You can go outside without worrying about someone calling you an n-word. You haven’t lived your life at a systemic disadvantage that makes everything from getting quality education to buying a house 10X more difficult. Not saying the n-word is that simple — just don’t say it. It’s not that hard to remove a word from your vocabulary, so have some respect and do the right thing.

Looking back at my 14 year old self, I am deeply ashamed by my actions. I wish I could go back and have a conversation with my teenage self to teach myself at an earlier age, but that’s not possible. What is possible is my ability to influence the world now. To help the black community and foster a better environment for black children, I pledge to:

• Donate to black-owned businesses and charities
• Promote education in black communities by serving as a tutor and donating to educational services
• Continuing to educate myself on the racism faced by black people and spreading this to friends and family